A Place at the Table - Part 1

  • Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
  • Series: Dear Rosa

Dinner time, especially with children, can sometimes be interesting and a place to learn and grow. When our oldest was about eight years old, she went through a phase. Here is her story In her own words:

"I went through a stretch of time where I dropped my fork every night at dinner. Sometimes I would go through three forks in a single sitting! Of course, catching the fork on its way down never once occurred to me. I preferred to sit there, stupified, watching the fork bounce from lap to chair to rung to floor. Out of desperation to keep the silverware somewhat intact, my father stepped in to help and we had "Reflex Bootcamp".

Forks, spoons, and dinner knives were lined up in a row on the table. A single utensil was flicked off, and he demonstrated how to catch it. My turn. We practiced the basics: The Grab, The Leg Press, The Arm Clutch, The Big Squeeze, and The Pluck.

Eventually, through intensive reflex training, parental patience, and four drawers worth of silverware, I learned to catch (and not drop!) my utensils."

When loved ones are going through tough times, we can do our best to equip them with skills and resources. Struggles can isolate us from the very people who can best help and encourage. But like a fork dropping to the hardwood floor, our struggles are rarely completely secret from those who love us. There is no shame in reaching out for support and guidance. Oftentimes by learning new skills and knowledge, we can be properly equipped to face our problems--and our silverware--and be wiser afterwards.

Even now, at the drop of a fork, my oldest can perfectly execute The Big Squeeze.

Wisdom