> Practical Family Living

Anger, The "A" Word

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Anger is a word that creates great discomfort for many people. However, there are many reasons why anger can be a positive contribution to any relationships

Conflict and the Call to Bless

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

The desire for revenge is within each one of us in the face of hurtful or offensive behavior. It is our way of saying we are not the villains. God has called us to bless one a nother. Blessing one another requires a cessation of treating others as if they are always the villains. In doing so, we open the door to receiving God's intended blessing towards us.

Clarity of Thought in Relationships

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

There are various fears and concerns that feed behaviors not helpful in our relationships with one another. Specific guidelines are available to aid us in our n eed for clarity of thought and behavior as we seek to experience and provide healthy styles of interacting.

Deprivation and Anger

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Feelings of anger often cover many different primary emotions: hurt, confusion, fear, and rejection. Deprivation, often based in fear, is a part of life. Placing our confidence in the Lord's availability may not reduce deprivation but can help increase our ability to be comforted.

Detours in Relationships

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

There are ways of thinking and acting that seem right only to discover they have detoured us off the path of right relating. God has it in his plan for us to become aware and work towards resolution those patterns that keep us from relating to others in a manner pleasing to Him.

Good, Bad or Equal

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Each person in a family or group works at finding the way in which they are special. The process or, at times, battle for significance goes awry. God has perspective on what makes us all equal.

Honesty

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Deciding to be honest is only the beginning of living an honest life. c onsciously choosing to not deceive is an ongoing journey that challenges the reality of who we are and where belonging begins.

Learning to Fight Fair

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

All of us have times when we disagree or fight and fight dirty. There are helpful guidelines to fighting fair. They may be ideal but these guidelines promote the best possible atmosphere for you and for your loved ones.

Humor and Perversity

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Humor in our culture has taken a sarcastic, demeaning turn. Learning to communicate from our hear with wisdom is different than communicating humor with respect for another. God's view of this type of humor is discussed

What's Behind That Anger?

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Anger is a complex emotion and uncomfortable for many. Since anger is often a secondary emotion, one is benefited by identifying the primary emotion anger covers. Along with this are the possible thoughts and demands that feed the anger.

Why Giving is Better Than Receiving

Learning how to give without expectation will help to strengthen and revitalize your relationship with others and with God.

The Balancing Act: Detachment

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Detachment is a concept often misunderstood. It does not mean "cut off" from those around you. Provided are questions to ask oneself and spiritual guidelines which aid the process of loving yourself and loving others appropriately.

Saying I'm Sorry

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Saying "I'm sorry." entail more than these two words. Examples in scripture outline what feeling sorry means and paints a word picture of our internal experience when feeling truly sorry.

Redeeming Our Life Stories: Narrative Family Therapy

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Our lifetime experiences can have positive and negative impacts on us. Narrative Family Therapy can be a tool in allowing Christ's redemptive love, and other positive stories of our lives, to "re-author" our painful past.

Trusting God in Trials and Sorrow

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Article depicts, through a teenager's story, how Christ will not delay his provision, safety, strength, and love when we endure trials and suffering.

Easter Clothes: Throwing Off Cloaks of Unforgiveness

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Forgiveness brings emotional and spiritual healing. Using Biblical references to Palm Sunday and Easter, and a story from Corrie Ten Boom, this article shows how the old "clothes" or habits around unforgiveness hamper our freedom and joy.

Family Systems and Generational Bondage

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Article describes how past generational patterns can influence current family functioning, and how God can equip us in healthy family functioning.

Grief and Changes

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Change within a family life cycle can bring feelings of grief and loss. Article lists six ways to weather the storms of family changes.

Teamwork in Tasks and Ministry

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Article describes seven principles to decrease stress through teamwork and delegation in ministry, family, or work-related tasks.

Marching On

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Article shows how God can encourage and strengthen us when facing fatigue and discouragement in challenging situations.

Lord Emmanuel

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Article describes in poetic form how God will dwell with us ande not forsake us in uncertain or tragic times.

Bread of Bethlehem

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Family and the sharing of communion is the backdrop of this article, which explores how to receive life-giving and healing attributes of God during the Christmas season.

Characteristics of a Healthy Family

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Helpful guides to creating a healthy family

Family Relationships: It's Not About Winning and Losing

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

What family relationships are not about

For Shame, For Shame: How to End Shaming When Disciplining

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

The power and influence of parents is great; keeping the parent-child relationship in its proper place

Tearing Down the Wall Through Forgiveness

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

What forgiveness really is and how relationships can be restored

Changing Our Hearts by Changing Our Minds

We can take the pressure off others to change by focusing on our own issues, because the only person we can really change is ourselves.

Taking Out the Trash: Preparation for the Holidays

Cheryl Chapin, M.S.

Share many blessings with family members instead of strife during the holiday season

Martha and Phil

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Martha and Phil are like many couples who feel confused as to why their relationship is not better than it is. Read on as you discover some core shifts in behavior and thought that will help increase their ability to relate intimately and honestly.

A Parent's Guide To Minimizing Sibling Rivalry

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Although sibling rivalry exists in virtually every family, parents can be proactive in helping to minimize sibling rivalry and helping children develop positive life long relationships with their siblings.

Using Mindfulness to Keep Relationships Healthy

Insights and tips are provided on how use mindfulness to be attentive to others feelings, as well as your own, in everyday experiences, to help strengthen your relationship.

10 Tips For Solving Problems

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Listed are ten simple yet challenging factors to remember when attempting to bring a difficult conversation to a calmer level. Both parties, working in this manner, may be able to move towards increased understanding of one another and look for ways to have both of you to have the things you value respected.

When A Father Dies - Preparing For The Holidays

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

The death of a family member creates a kind of stress that one does not understand until they experience the loss themselves. Add the holidays to this and the multiple levels of grief increase. There are a few basic truths that become real in the face of such a loss around the holidays. This article, written to encourage as well as remind us of these truths, utilizes the author's own personal experience to bring the reality of what it means to celebrate living in the face of grief.

Christmas Shocking

Christmas this year may not happen as you picture it. When things do not go as planned, you may experience Christmas culture shock.

Facing the Holidays Together

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Each year numerous couples and families struggle to keep pace with the expectations placed upon them from various sources. Keeping extended family, friends, and each other happy requires great skill around negotiation, self-awareness, and the provision of flexibility. This article outlines several guidelines to be aware of as the festivities are rushing in to eat up your time and energy.

Turning Financial Stress into an Opportunity for Growth and Attachment in Marriage

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Many couples experience financial stress at some point in their marriage. However uncomfortable that stress may be, it can also be an opportunity for growth and attachment in marriage. This article gives tips on how to discuss finances with your spouse in a positive way and to develop a team approach to family finances.

Tips for Talking About Finances

Talking about money can lead to conflict, but research shows that having a plan on how to handle disagreements leads to happier marriages. This article provides some useful tips on handling your differences regarding finances.

Family Finances: Don't Go Solo

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Many couples experience financial stress at some point in their marriage. How they communicate that stress to one another is significant. In this article, Christine provides a plan for couples to talk about family finances that builds unity and a team approach.

Rebuilding After the Storm

August 18, 2005. A record breaking day in the history of Wisconsin with 27 confirmed tornadoes in one twenty-four hour period. In one moment, debris was strewn everywhere and the destruction left behind on that day was well into the millions of dollars. Addiction is destructive, like a tornado, and you are left to deal with the aftermath of a person struggling with addiction. Whether the addiction is food, alcohol, drugs, gambling, or pornography, a trail of wreckage is left behind and rebuilding needs to begin.

Working Hard To Be Liked

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

People pleasers work very hard to be liked and crave love and acceptance from others at the cost of their own identity. The real person can become lost in the daze of perceived expectations. But there is good news.

Children and Attachment Wounds

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Early trauma in a child’s life can result in attachment wounds in your child. Article describes how a specialized family therapy; Family Narrative Attachment Therapy, can help rebuild bonds between parent and child. Especially useful for foster and adoptive children.

ADHD and Homework: It Can Work!

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Children with ADHD have a tremendous amount of potential. ADHD is not a limitation nor a predictor of school performance. In this article, Christine provides a practical guideline for parents to help make homework time more productive and less stressful.

Family Conflict and the Holidays: God Bless Us, Every One!

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Christmas is supposed to be a time of great joy and celebration, isn’t it? Yet, many have a relative or two in which there is some tension. When you consider the extra stress of the shopping, wrapping, food preparation, traveling, and stretched finances, it is no wonder that family gatherings can be stressful. This article provides tips to handle the stress of family and the holidays with God’s help.

Encouraging the Growth Mindset in Children

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Parents naturally want the best for their children and can be instrumental in helping their children become resilient to challenges. This article informs parents on recent research and ways they can encourage their children to have a growth mindset.

Peace and Goodwill Towards Men

Kathy Ann Ward, MA, LPC-T, CSAC

Using scripture readings to keep, or find, the peace and joy in your interpersonal relationships over the holidays.

Overcoming Self-sabotaging Behaviors

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

While we are all capable of self-sabotage, some individuals are more vulnerable to self-defeating behavior. It is possible to work through the tendency of self-defeating behavior. Half the battle is already won when individuals become aware of their self-destructive behavior. This article will outline a plan to overcome self-sabotaging behavior.

Those Pesky Buttons

Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT

Everyone on earth has had their "buttons" pushed a time or two. Turn these irritating situations into a growing opportunity.

Salt and Light

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

We all know people that are difficult to get along with; whether it is in our family, church or place of work. This article gives tips on getting along with people that are difficult to get along with.

Knowing IF and WHEN to Have Difficult Conversations

Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT

Difficult conversations can easily go awry. Learn some strategies to determine IF and WHEN to have a difficult conversation.

When in Conflict

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

There are distinct behavioral principles we need to incorporate when faced with conflict. Look at yourself in the mirror asking, "What is it like being on the receiving end of me." Is there anything I do or have done to contribute to this, am I missing something? What are my weaknesses? Is my behavior above reproach? What am I to learn through this? We are responsible to seek wisdom on how to treat difficult people in our lives. Regardless of the other person's attitude or behavior, we will be held accountable for how we chose to respond. Healthy people respond in loving firmness to difficult people through the implementation of both learned skills and accessing their spiritual foundation.